Sunday, January 1, 2023

January 1, 2019: Day 1 of 365 days of acknowledging my grief

January 1, 2019:

There are no pictures of Sonzee during her very last January 1st, which would have been in 2020. I am sure it has to do with how sick she was looking. The main reasons I took pictures (what ended up being) the last 6 months of her life were simply to attempt to prove to whoever would listen to me that she wasn't looking healthy. I ask myself daily what good knowing any earlier would have done, we could never prevent the inevitable, she was dying at some point during our lives, and I knew this.

There is a video on January 1, 2020, where her youngest brother is putting on her grandfather's shoes at my parents' house.  Sonzee is in the background, in her pjs, rolling around on the floor. It isn't a video focused on her so there are no closeups of her face, just her doing her thing.

Her very last January 1st when she was healthy she spent doing what she loved, swimming (in a bathtub-most probably because it was too cold outside to carry her back from her swim spa). I am so happy I have pictures of her content. Her best quality of life was definitely between December 2018 and June 2019, and I am thankful I have so many videos and pictures that capture her contentness.  

The Mighty Contributor

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