Dear Sonzee,
Yesterday was 152 weeks; today is 2 years and 11 months since you left us. This last week was winter break for your siblings and me. We opted to stay home since we have so much travel headed our way with hockey over the next month. Ironically (not sure that is even the correct word) the tournament we will be headed to next week (on my English birthday) is the location of the first tournament we went to 2.5 weeks after you died. I remember how awkward it was for people, and for us. I questioned if we should have gone, but ultimately the answer was to keep your siblings' lives as normal as possible. We got to see Mimi and her family, something I am unsure if we can work out again this trip, but I hope we can make something happen.
The tournament after happens to be on your deathaversary, but we can discuss that as it comes closer. For next weekend I am hoping it goes easily. I can still remember the rink and the park nearby. I can remember the days and images of the weekend. Your siblings loved playing at the park. I remember feeling numb to everything, and now the numbness has disappeared.
This last week over the break we did a lot of hanging out at home. Meena had a break from gymnastics, but Tzvi despite not having his team practices was naturally at the rink. It was amazing for me to sleep in every morning and truly relax. Saturday night was new years eve and aba and I spent it going to friends and losing in poker while eating pizza. Sunday night bubbie and pop-pop took 3 of your siblings and Auntie A took one and aba and I had our first night in forever where we could go out to dinner and watch movies we wanted to. (They were a bust, to be honest, but we tried).
We managed to raise over $1,000 to purchase more PEMU pajamas and I am so excited! My dream is to be able to mention the "PEMU PJ closet" on the special needs support groups and have families be able to pick up pajamas before they go (which has happened twice already by word of mouth).
Anyway babygirl, I love and miss you!!
Hope you have an amazing new year wherever you are!!
Until next time.
Love always,
Ema
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