177 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

This week finished our first full week in New York, and Laeya, Noam, and my 2nd week away. Aba, Tzviki, and Meena came in yesterday, but not after a diverted flight that ended up making their travel over 9 hours. We finally got back up to VV around midnight and went to sleep around 2:30 after everyone was finally settled. 

This week I worked about 20 hours and Laeya and Noam hung around the house and played on their electronics or scootered. Most people were not yet up at VV because school didn't end until Thursday. Morah Lakie and her family arrived on Wednesday night, so I help situate them, we ate dinner together, and then they took a bit to get acclimated. 

Friday night we had Seri's family and the Blech's over for shabbas dinner, and then shabbas day we went to the Blech's house and hung out. We did lots of walking and relaxing. 

Anyway my love. 

Until next time. 

Love always, 

Ema

Summer 2023

Dear Sonzee,

We finished our drive to Uncle's on Friday and spent shabbas in New Jersey. Yesterday we officially arrived home for summer. The one you never got to see, but the one that would have worked so much better for our family when you were here. (Minus the staircase up, but nothing is perfect). Today starts day 1 of summer. 

Summer is one of those sneak up on me quietly in a dark alley at midnight sort of experiences. (Or what I imagine that would feel like because I'd rather never be in that situation) The drive was filled with hours alone with my thoughts paired with songs that would take me back to either your life or death. Driving on the backroads of Oklahoma listening to Taylor Swift sing "Wildest dreams" took me back to your infancy and the blog post I wrote in September of 2015 as a guest blogger. I still have those dreams of what life could've been had it not been filled with what it was for you.

More songs continued to stream while your brother and sister were otherwise occupied by naps or playing with electronics. "From where you are" came on during day 2 of our drive and reminded me of its music video with cars driving down a long road. My mind drifted and this sadness cloud began to hover over me. Just a bit before I was so excited for summer, and to be back at VV, and then all of a sudden the cloud opened on me. 

Summers were for you and I. It was our time together, no nurse, your older siblings were in camp and Noam was just a baby. You were our shopping bag holder when Malka and I went to Woodbury Commons. You drove your car along Townhouse Road. You were a staple on our walks. VV isn't the same since you have been gone. The main blessing was relocating to the lake. The first summer without you in TH 49 was difficult. The lake is a place you haven't ever been. I don't see you on the floor or around the space. There are no blankets you ever laid on, I can't place you in any of the rooms. You exist only in my thoughts, which is both a blessing and a curse. This summer I will be working during the days virtually, which will help fill the void of your absence, but it makes what was once my break from reality, a stark reminder of what my current reality is. 

I am looking forward to this summer with excitement and a heavyweight within my chest of all the adventures you and I will miss out on together. I know you are still very much remembered by everyone here and your spirit definitely fills the air, but it doesn't change the fact that we are embarking on yet another summer without having to worry about your tubes being pulled out, allergies that show up on PCR tests, and needing to ensure we have your medical one form for when we inevitably had to the hospital runs. 

I know you will come to visit us with cool summer breezes, and I will be waiting on the porch with a cup of coffee in hand to enjoy them. Be safe and have a fun summer, my love. 

Until next time.

Love always, 

Ema

Week 176

Dear Sonzee, 

This week finished our first week of being away. We had a lot of fun driving to New York and staying at uncles for the weekend. This last week we managed to travel a new route since we were going to Uncle's and not upstate. We got to drive through West Virginia, which is beautiful, and I found you a red bear keychain to bring to you when I go back home. 

We drove through Arizona, New Mexico, the top of Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, New York, and New Jersey.  We stopped to stand in 3 states at once, and I signed your name on the wooden area. We also got to see a Stone hedge replica in Missouri, and a leaning water tower. Your brother and sister were good sports and mainly watched DVDs or played on their electronics. We had yummy food that bubbie planned for us to bring to eat in the hotels, and we even got to stay in a Homewood suites, which thrilled Noam because he is obsessed with those Louis the duck books that we got when we stayed there in 2019. 

We drove up to VV yesterday and unpacked the house. It is year #2 at the Lakehouse and I love it! So much room, such a beautiful view. 

I miss you lots!

Until next time.

Love always, 

Ema

Recap of weeks 174 and 175

Dear Sonzee, 

We just completed day 2 of our drive to New York. We went a similar route to the one we did with you back in 2017. We passed by one of the fun spots where we spray painted the cars that were sticking out of the ground and Noam asked if he had been there. I told him no, but you had. Then I thought to myself it might be unfair that I won't ever take him, but also it falls under my rules of never repeating things unless we really have to. So today led us to a playground right before we entered into Oklahoma, and the brittle leaning water tower. We did have 2 Starbuck's stops and 2 gas stops as well. 

Aba is at home with Meena and Tziki. Meena is going to gymnastics 4 days a week until she flies to NY for camp. She got her roundoff-back handspring-back tuck, and it is beautiful. I am in aw of her strength and abilities. She is just so talented. I still can't believe she started 2 years ago. Tzvi and aba got back from Florida last Wednesday, the day after Laeya and I got home from New York. They went to watch a Stanley cup final game for the Panthers. It was an incredible game, and the only one they won during the last series. Vegas went on to win the cup, but Tzvi will have that forever experience. 

Last week was spent mainly finishing up the packing for camp and our roadtrip. Your siblings finished school for summer officially on Friday. I have been virtually working here and there to answer emails as we rev up for ESY to start next week. I am looking forward to summer relaxing paired with working, but I do feel like it is going to make summer feel like it is flying by. 

Anyway my love. I wanted to just send a quick update on things. I have another letter writing itself in my mind that might have to wait until tomorrow to get on paper. 

Be safe, have fun, and I miss you!

Unitl next time. 

Love always, 

Ema