Difficult roads...

Dear Sonzee, 

Another 31 days is wrapping up meaning another month is coming to an end.  This one, in particular, was our most eventful since you left us. We finally closed on the house 9 days ago, Bear Pines is slowly coming together.  The most incredible part is seeing my vision become reality.  Aba and I joked last night this is a place we would love to airbnb, and we hope all who visit here will feel the same way.  I added touches inspired by you all throughout.  Currently, I am upstairs on the outside porch writing this letter while sitting at a bistro set placed on top of a rug that is beige with a red design all over it, and drinking my coffee from the ceramic cup that has the red ring around the top.  They are honestly pretty crummy substitutes for you, but since they are the best I get, they are absolutely perfect.

This past week finished off multiple meetings for the new school year at FBC.  I am going back to West Valley for the 3rd year and took the two classrooms at East Valley.  The decision was made for me to not go back into central, and it was the correct one confirmed the second I looked at classroom assignments and didn't realize I was holding my breath until I saw Ms. Susan and Ms. Erin in the classrooms that were once mine.  I know I will miss seeing the faces of everyone who works on that campus, but I don't think I could walk the same halls you once did in your gait trainer, or have the constant reminder of your absence seeing the classroom you most probably would have been in.  I know the staff misses you greatly, they check in with me often and have made that very clear.  They always have been the best.

Yesterday we saw the initial mockup of your headstone, it turned out beautiful, but needs a couple of small fixes.  I am excited to see the final draft and then one day in the next few months it'll just show up.  I anticipate that day will be filled with mixed emotions.  Tomorrow begins a new month that will present us with some firsts. On Monday it is going to be a double whammy as it would have been your first day of school, Kindergarten no less, and it also marks 6 months since you have been gone.  Tuesday I am slated to do a live zoom as a Chabad FSU alumnus about your story, and I am really nervous about that.  

While today marks the final day of another month of 2020 you missed out on, it was also filled with new beginnings.  It breaks my heart that you aren't here to share them with us, but I know wherever you are, it is better for you.  So like this quote that now hangs in the coffee nook of Bear Pines says, 

Love always, 

Ema