Monday, October 31, 2022

143 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

Hi baby girl!  How are you? (I feel like I haven't asked in so long).  Today marks 143 weeks that have passed without you here. That is a lot of Monday's.

Last week was spirit week at FBC. I missed mix matched day, but then got into the spirit mood for the rest of the week.  That included western day, 70s-day, and costume day.  It was fun!  We had Fall Fest, west valley went to the Swift offices and trick or treated and then had a cute setup at school with a fall theme.  It was so much fun to take the kiddos. One of our friends had her Tobii and it said, "trick or treat" and then went on repeat and it was the cutest thing.  All of our friends had a programmed switch of some sort that said, "trick or treat".  The entire time we walked the halls I was thinking about how the kids cannot eat most of the candy they were being given, but I guess it is the thought that counts? You used to love these school days!

Tzvi had a hockey tournament over the weekend. He played well overall, but the team definitely struggled.  They ended the weekend only winning one game.  I tried to tell Tzvi they don't always have to be all or none.  It is like they either win first or are in a consolation game, they need to work on that.

I did my first full week of working out! I did some competitions on my apple watch, and it was really motivating.

Yesterday, Noam and I went to visit you and bring you a lot of rocks. I still have more to paint for you, but we picked up some more rocks to take home to be sure to take care of that.  I also brought you the little ladybug that Mimi's mom sent for you and the gorilla soapstone I got for you while we were in Chicago.  I finally brought you, your first day of 2nd grade rock, which by the way still confuses me and makes me have to recount the years. The cemetery is so much fuller than it was 2.5 years ago. I know that makes sense, but it is just so weird to see. So many painted rocks now because of you. It is really nice to see.  Noam and I walked all around, with him asking me "who is here?" near the majority of the plots. He also was trying to grasp this whole under the ground thing, which he has been trying to do since he was 2. He asked, "Where is Sonzee in the ground", I said, "right here" and pointed to your stone. Then he asked how you got in the ground. I told him that the ground was dug up and then you went in. He then asked if you were sleeping and if it was dark. I told him yes, it is dark, and I am really unsure what you are doing. (It is the truth, and honestly, with his age and the whole death concept I worry that using sleeping will carry over to when he goes to sleep, and I don't want to go down that path.  It is similar to when he asks how you died and if you were sick, which is another word I refrain from using so he doesn't associate sickness with death.  It is tough for sure!) He also asked about your friends. It is hard to answer that because I assume you are with your friends, but I just don't know, so I say a lot of "I don't know buddy".

Anyway, November is tomorrow.  I cannot believe in 28 days, 3 years ago your brother turned 2 and in 28 days from today he will be older than you ever got to be.  Send me some extra love and signs this month please. I feel like I am already falling apart while I pretend to try and keep it together.

I love and miss you a lot!

Love always, 

The Mighty Contributor

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