4 months

Dear Sonzee,

It's hard to believe it really has been a full 4 months since you were last here in my arms.  It's so strange to me because I can still close my eyes and feel your weight in them and your face tucked under my chin.  I wonder as the time goes on if I will eventually forget what that felt like?  I guess that is eventually something I will at least start to fear, but for now thankfully neither has occurred. Aba misses biting your cheeks, although I am unsure if you are missing that yourself.  Your poor cheeks were always so red after he did that, it would take me two seconds of seeing you to get angry at him.  He always said they were so yummy he couldn't help himself, but sheesh.

Your ppod chair has safely arrived at Andrew's, and he has been loving it.  His parents are so grateful because he is now much safer because it is bigger than the smaller one he was in.  His mom messaged me yesterday to tell me they found your bracelet tucked inside the fabric.  It was the one with the "s" engraved held together with red string.  I had forgotten about it, but I do remember when we lost it.  The funny thing is that I am pretty sure we lost it back in Phoenix before we even went to NY, which means that it made it through a couple of washes and traveling.  His mom said she felt a positive energy when she found it, and I have been thinking about it all night, and I think it should stay with them because that is clearly where it is meant to be. 

Yesterday Aba and I went on a quick day trip to take care of some business.  We began talking to someone and without thinking, I said "we have four children".  My heart sank at how fast the words came out.  I quickly thought to our recent grief support group where we discussed that I don't have to tell every person about our life, it isn't everyone's business to know the intricate details, and apparently, my subconscious felt it wasn't in my best interest, but I cried myself to sleep because of it.  I am so sorry.

Tzviki made your monthly milestone rock for today.  It came out really nicely and I am going to head over this afternoon to place it by you.  I am envisioning how all the rocks will look come the fall when your stone and items are all placed in the area.  We are just waiting for the proofs to come back, which should be sometime within this month and then whenever the stone arrives it will be engraved and placed shortly after.  The tentative time frame is sometime around the beginning of fall for it all to be completed.

I hope you are doing something fun to celebrate your 4 months in Gan Eden!  Continue to know that you are extremely loved and missed here.  As always, stay safe!

Love always,
Ema