It seems unfathomable that the world has continued to go on without her presence. It is almost impossible for me to grasp that the laws of life even allow parents to outlive a child, how can such a situation be allowed to occur? How is it that I have woken up every single day since February 4 and she hasn't? How is it that she has been somewhere else being taken care of by someone other than her parents, other than me, for yet again another 30 days?
Today marks the 30th day of April where there were was not one single picture of her taken. Tomorrow will begin another month on the calendar that in the future won't be able to provide any throwbacks during the year 2020. I wish the milestones that occurred after death could be celebratory instead of overshadowed with harsh realities. I wish I could say that the closing out of April taught me something more than the knowledge that it is possible to continue to live without her. I wish I could say that May will teach me something different, but it won't. It will just be another 31 days of survival.
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