I often find myself wondering why people are "chosen" to live the lives they are specifically given. I like to equate it to casting actors in a movie. The majority of the time I find myself saying "no one else could have done that role as perfectly, the casting director did a fantastic job". Occasionally, there are those movies that might have been a bigger success or at least turned out a bit differently had another person been given the part. However, there is nothing that can be done after the roles are assigned and the movie is created. In all fairness, it is difficult to see how good or bad the movie will be until it all comes together and at that point the actors did their bests, the movie is what it is, and there is no going back to the drawing board.
The thing about casting is that it is highly subjective. For whatever reason the specific actor was picked and not everyone might agree with that choice. I find myself wondering if the actor selected always feels that it was the best choice. Maybe someone else urged them to try out. Maybe they went for it on a whim. Maybe they did not really feel they would get it. Maybe in the end they did not actually want to be that character. Yet here they are given a specific opportunity to represent this character. They have to now give it their all and put their best foot forward. They have to become one with this character as if they have always been this person. They have to own their role. For better or worse this is what it is. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it.
This week especially this has been on my mind. I have been cast into the position I have been for literally G-d only knows why. Despite my hefty desire to shout up at the sky and say "what are you doing?", "why is it I can handle this?", and "how is this even possible?" I am playing this part because it is mine. I didn't realize I had been auditioning and I am sure someone else can do this entirely better. I have no idea in what direction this movie is going, or what the end will look like. All I know is that this was given to me for a specific reason and like I have been doing since April 2015, I will just keep having to fake it until I make it.
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