"You can't change the outcome, but you will never get the time back"-Raquel Schnitzer
There have been a lot of different things going on lately, none of which I have any control over, and naturally that sends my brain into a tailspin. The fear of the unknown tends to paralyze me in a way that makes me over analyze and panic about every little thing. No matter what I do it is nearly impossible for me to stay focused in the moment and actually be present because I am dreading what might be. I dislike the feeling immensely, but also have found it an insurmountable task to focus on anything but, until yesterday.
Yesterday was mother's day. A day that I have been honoring for myself since 2010 when our first daughter was born. So much has happened to make me the mom that I currently am over these past 8 years. Yesterday standing outside a Starbucks after painting pottery Sam took this picture.
I studied this picture over and over, and the quote above struck me like a lightning bolt. Whatever "big picture" outcome is going to unfold in the lives of my children or myself I will never have a say. As hard a pill that is to swallow, I cannot do anything about it. I can assist with the twists and turns, but if I spend all my time and energy worrying about where the roads will lead I am going to miss the entire point and joy of this life. Eventually the answers to all the questions will be given. They may or may not be the ones I want, but in the end, what will matter is what we all did together and the fun times we had in the process.
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