Monday, October 19, 2020

37 weeks

Hey Sonzee girl,

The weather isn’t awful and I am able to sit on the sidewalk in front of you today at 2pm without burning. The tree closest to the street is actually providing you some shade.  I feel like that hasn’t always been the case? Or maybe it's just the time of day?  There seems to be a consistent breeze isn’t overwhelmingly hot either...I know your welcome breeze will be here shortly. Ahhh here it is.

I am essentially a day early writing this post, but for some reason I felt like writing by your side, so I will just post it tomorrow.  (Today) marks 37 weeks.  It doesn’t make sense to me that we are coming close to 9 months.  I could’ve birthed a baby in this amount of time, but yet I’m just marking another amount of time that has passed without you here.  It’s still. So. Hard. 

Bear Pines has been filling up with guests and it makes my heart so happy.  It’s still not completely 100%, but it’s getting really close.  I’m hopeful that when I pop back up this week the facia will be all painted and hung and the house will be all completed on the outside.  The idea was a fresh coat of paint and it turned into a bit more than that. Oops! There is a teensy snag on your siblings playhouse...hopefully we get it sorted out quickly or we will have to remove it and start from scratch on a smaller scale.  But, we will be having the ice rink!!! I am so excited! I hope it all comes together. 

Speaking of ice, Tzvi played his first game as a Jr. Sun Devil today! We didn’t all go like we usually do...but we watched on the computer and Tzvi went out at first shift! My heart swelled with pride! I honestly wasn’t sure if or how long of playing time he would even get, but he did great! No scores today, but he had some really beautiful passes.  There’s a part of me that is thankful we aren’t in have to go back to a rink we have taken you into and not have you be there is something I am still just not ready for.  I can picture the last time I changed your diaper in that parking lot last year, and where I placed your wheelchair during the game.  There was a stroller in the view of the camera during the game and I was glad when it moved out of view. 

We did 3 year old pictures of boss baby yeisterday.  He wore a tuxedo and used your pink’s totally perfect for him because he can pull it off.  He is getting an orange mustang for his guys would have had the best races! He’s been looking at your book a lot recently and he’ll point and say Sonzee...Noam...and smile.  There was one of you in your car and him in the little tikes car being pushed.  Tzvi asked when I’ll make his book with you...I NEED to make that a priority! I often wonder how I managed to get things done during your lifetime considering I can’t find the time now to get anything done? It’s quite confusing for me!

Anyway my love,  I miss you so incredibly much! I wish there could be a countdown until I knew I would see you again...but I know that’s not how this all works.  Instead I will just keep counting the weeks since you were here and telling you what is going on.

Love you so much!!

Until next time.

Love always,

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