Friday, July 29, 2016

Validation

One of the scariest parts of being a mom of a special needs kiddo is having to rely on your gut for just about everything.  Relying on your gut is not always easy because as I have shared previously, many times the feeling you think is your gut talking to you, is actually your doubt and fears.  It can be challenging at times to decipher one from the other and usually time is not on your side.  So as always, when you find yourself at the fork in the road with the hourglass empty, you give the steering wheel a slight nudge in one direction, you hold your breath and you pray.

However, one of the most rewarding parts of being a mom of a special needs kiddo is when you realize that maybe the feelings of doubt and fear that you think are clouding your judgement, really aren't fears and doubt, but actually your mommy instincts doing what they do best...guiding you.  When you reached that fork and you decided to turn left instead of right and you see that maybe, just maybe you made the correct choice in your daily "pick your adventure" series.  That my friend is what I would call validation.

It is at this time on your scenic route that you sit back and enjoy the ride, not because whatever decision you made resulted in what you as a parent want for your child, but rather because you realize that you are not completely failing.  You realize that maybe you are capable of more than you are giving yourself credit for.  You realize that maybe you are cut out for this heavy honor you have been given.  After all, according to any text book you should not even be on the path you chose, but you somehow, by some grace of G-d were able to determine that this was the exact place you needed to be.  For that reason alone, you deserve just a moment of applause.  We all know that the next crossroad is lurking around the corner waiting for you, and it will appear all too quickly and all too unexpectedly, and you cannot be nonchalantly basking in the sunlight or you just might miss your turn. 

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