I have been penning this letter for some time, waiting for the moment that I had enough courage to express accurately my dislike, anger, and overall hatred for you. I hope this note reaches you when you least expect it, when you are relaxing from your long day of atrocious hard work, after you are finally settling in to rest and you are completely unaware of what is about to come at you. I hope you are shaken to the core and completely sucker punched; you know, similar to what you do daily to my 17-month-old daughter and ALL of the children that suffer from the sudden abnormal electrical activity you love to share.
You are simply unrelenting as we, the defenders, play a delicate game of "walk the tight rope", balancing between medicating enough to maybe put you at bay and keeping our daughter's essence alive. You have taken so much already from our daughter that your continued presence simply sickens me. Each second of every episode that you infiltrate my daughter's beautiful body is another second I spend loathing your mere existence. Today, alone, that was approximately 900 seconds. That is 15 minutes of my life I spent feeling utterly helpless, fighting back tears with my heart torn into pieces watching as you took over the body of a helpless child. It is so beyond frustrating and challenging to find the accurate words to express to you the complete and utter disdain I have for you. I wish you were tangible so I could find you and give you the reciprocity you so deserve.
I wish there was a magic potion I could find that would make you vanish from this world so no other parent, caregiver, sibling, or person in general has to witness what I do on a daily basis. Most importantly, I wish there was a remedy mainly so no person has to succumb to the negative power you possess. Too many parents have watched you take pieces of their children away from them far too often. Too many parents have watched you literally suck the life out of their child. Too many parents have you to thank for the disabilities their children experience and the daily struggles they endure. Too much heartache and too many tears have been wasted because of you!
What I want you to know is that despite all the negativity you represent, and all the hurdles you place in my way my mission will remain constant and I WILL NEVER QUIT.
I will never give up the fight for a cure to stop your electrical misfiring. You should spend each moment in constant fear that TODAY will be your LAST seizure. You should live in a constant state of panic and worry that you will be obsolete from existence and that your damage will NEVER continue. You should never get to the point that you feel you are a match to every drug manufactured, because my daughter and every other child and person who deals with you on a daily basis is far more resilient. Most importantly, what you should remember is that every person you are attacking has a momma bear on the defense, and so my friend, you are the one whose days are numbered.
From a fierce unrelenting momma bear warrior whose life mission is to eradicate you
Mommy bloggers, Join me @ Top Mommy Blogs