Dear Sonzee,
I begin with what seems to be my weekly apology for being late or missing a week. After I finally located my computer at the end of last week I figured I might as well wait for today to combine the last two weeks. Most of which has been filled with moving out of the apartment and into our new house.
I am thrilled to be in a house. Apartment living is just not for me. I actually heard the music from wherever it was coming from into the boys' room in the apartment in Tzvi's room the first night I tucked him in. It took me two days to stop the make-believe music. Everyone has been settling in nicely. Aba and I spent the last two weeks sleeping on either a couch or a trundle in each of your siblings' rooms because our room was a hot mess. We finally put up all of our dressers and closet organizers, despite the bathroom still in full construction mode. Neither ours nor Noam's bathrooms are completed yet, but will hopefully be by the end of this week. (I will say the couch is amazingly comfortable so I didn't complain)
We are working on each of your siblings doing their laundry since they now all have hampers they are hoarding their clothing in. In the apartment, I just kept the washing machine open and they dumped their clothing inside. While extremely efficient if I missed a day there was a backup and nagging over needing clothing, so to offset the complaints everyone can just be responsible for their own laundering. I have to say, so far your 3 older siblings have been pretty awesome, and I switch their loads and tell them when they are ready for folding and putting away. They have learned the detergents and items that go into the cycles.
Your areas have been set up, but I am still behind on putting up all of the pictures and new frames. I will probably have to push things off until we get back from summer because as of today camp packing is strictly underway.
The last two weeks have been mainly ok in terms of settling in a house you never lived in. We have set up your items strategically around the house but in an organic manner. The idea is that you are everywhere, and we are doing our best to ensure that is the case. It was so cute, as I walked by Noam's room this week he was putting out your picture on his dresser. I put your feeding pole and one of your bags hanging from it in the family room. Your blankets are in a basket side table with pictures on top, but available for me to sit on the couch and snuggle with. (It almost takes me back to the hospital days since they are the ones I would get on the care cart, minus the fact that the couch here is so much more comfortable than the PCH benches or chairs). I put your oxygen machine next to those side tables. Your artwork is slowly making it up on the walls, and all the gifts of trees given in your honor and memory are in the kitchen, along with the picture that I took of your grave when a heart somehow appeared reflected in your rock basket when there was nothing around to do that. Your Rifton chair sits with the epilepsy bear PCH child life made for your siblings so they wouldn't be scared to see you with the EEG hat on, and we put some of your Sonzee items in that area. That kicking Daniel Tiger piano that you used to love and hit until the frog sang is tied to the footrest, and I put in new batteries so I could hear the frog sound if I am in the mood for it.
Your siblings have been swimming up a storm in the pool. It was a major pull to this house, especially since it came with a diving board as well. A part of me wishes we had your swim spa, the other part reminds me I couldn't bring myself to go inside it without you, and hadn't since you died.
The downside of combining weeks is I forget a lot of the details I would have told you, hopefully, I will do better.
Anyway baby girl. I miss you lots and wish I could see you and peak in on whatever you are up to. Come and visit and let me know if you approve of where I put all of your things!
Until next time.
Love always,
Ema
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