Dear Sonzee,
Hard to believe we have completed 2 weeks into the 90 week category and there are just 8 left until we will be in triple digits. I would ask how that has happened, but the short and simple answer is, life. The 4 letter word that represents so much and yet doesn't physically involve you anymore. A concept still beyond difficult for me to grasp.
This last week brought us to your brother's hockey tournament in Chicago. Something that once would have taken a lot of diligent planning and mixed emotions on your involvement but that ended up happening without much consideration. It was as simple as booking flights, booking the hotel, and me just taking off of work. The most challenging part was figuring out food, but even that turned out to be simple and hardly took much effort.
I mentioned you more often than I have ever to this group of people. It still feels awkward to bring you up sometimes, and sometimes I mention your name as if they would know who you are and then I wonder if I should say more or just keep on going with the current conversation and let it go unless questions are asked. I wonder if the second guessing, overanalyzing, and sheer awkwardness of your life and death will ever become easier, or at least less complicated in my mind?
Your brother played really well this weekend, although there was no championship win for his team. They won one game and lost three, but played some amazingly talented teams. We set the bar high for your brother with our motivation for him, but in true Tzvi fashion, he pretty much came out accomplishing it all. We wanted him to play more aggressive and said to get one penalty over his four games, he managed to get two. We told him to aim for scoring one goal, he managed to score three (although one unfairly didn't count because the ref decided to blow the whistle as he shot it in). We told him to aim for two assisted goals, he came up slightly short on that and only had one, but he did score an extra goal himself that could have been assisted had he passed it, so that is sort of a toss up. Overall, he had fun, and he played really well, we are really proud of him. I wish he could have snagged a hat trick, but there will be more games to come.
I need to get to making all the rocks I owe you. I am sorry I am so behind!
Anyway little girl. I miss you. I love you.
Until next time.
Love always,
Ema
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