72 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

We have finished up another week filled with your absence.  Yesterday, which officially marked 72 weeks, we landed in NY and drove up to VV.  I anticipated the experience being all around upsetting, and as I also warned myself, it ended up being worse than predicted.  The ease of flying with 4 mobile children, not requiring the assistance of TSA Cares or any additional help, not having any additional stares, not having the stress of getting on the plane first to be the last ones set up and buckled...it was the worst type of slap in my face.  Laeya mentioned more than once how it was the first time she could remember not skipping the lines and not going on the additional assistance lane to get through airport security.  She continued to bring you up during the flight, saying how she envisioned you and your friends flying with us up in the clouds.  The good mom in me let her keep talking out her grief...the post-Sonzee bereaved mom was screaming in my head for her to stop talking because I didn't want to hear all my thoughts being spoken aloud.  I didn't want to be crying at the airport or on the plane.  Life is just an extra dose of hard. 

In preparation for our flight, the week was spent packing Meena, Noam, Aba, and me.  I also ended up getting a new phone before we left Sunday, and despite the sales guy saying "now the hardest part, picking the color", it was actually the easiest decision choosing it to be red in honor of you.  I bought Apple Care and it supposedly is difficult to break, so for now I will just keep it uncovered and have the red visible 24/7.  The alternative is to get a 3rd phone case made up of our last all 7 of us favorite family pictures circa summer 2018.  

Meena had a quick tryout for the competition team for gymnastics on Friday.  She can go on the team, but, unfortunately, the gym we went to cannot make accommodations for her missing the Saturday practices, so when we return in August, we will find another.

We went to see you Sunday before we left.  Aba took a picture for fathers day with you and everyone else.  A lot of people have asked to go and visit you while we are away, hopefully, some do.  Auntie A is making you your 1-year 5-month rock and she will place the July 4th rock I left for her to give you next week. I got Aba a new pair of red socks with your picture from you for fathers day and he was very happy to receive them.

Anyway my love.  We leave in a bit to drive to Pennsylvania to stay the night before dropping Laeya and Tzvi at camp.  This house is sure to feel an extra dose of empty besides the obvious of you and your belongings not taking up every square inch.  Remember to be sure to keep an eye on them!

Love you and miss you!

Until next time.

Love always,

Ema