Monday, June 14, 2021

71 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

Today is another Monday you won't be part of, and it has been 71 since we last cuddled.  Next Monday I will be sitting in what has become our NY home, or maybe outside staring at the trees where I used to sit to blog while we are away for the summer.  I am trying to prepare for all that is to come next week but knowing my history, it won't matter because something I haven't prepared for will happen.  

This past Friday your siblings finally finished school for the year.  It is hard to believe next year Laeya will be in 6th grade.  I try not to think about you going into 1st.  My mind has challenges with the image because sometimes I create a completely fictitious one that involves you completely healthy and unlike the Sonzee we all knew and loved.  

Last Thursday was grief group.  The activity this week was to write a letter "from you" to myself (and aba's self).  I have done that a handful of times since you have been gone and it is always my biggest struggle.  I stared at everyone writing for the first 5-10 minutes, nothing could be written, but I finally found a use for those little tissue packs they have in our individual baggies.  I eventually managed to get some words on the page, but I felt like it was such a blah letter.  Aba and I don't typically talk about our groups with one another, but on Friday he asked me if we also wrote a letter, and then he showed me his.  His was far better than mine and I was a mess a few lines in.  

I found glitter/sequin boots on Alibaba for Tzvi's hockey team.  It was such a daunting task to be able to find the exact colors I wanted, it was literally a multiple hours endeavor of searching.  I hope when they arrive (if they arrive), they are what I am anticipating.  We got his tournament schedule.  There are 7, but we know we are missing one because we will be (G-d willing) in Israel. Yup, we are actually scheduled to go, sans you and nurse Paige.  That is sure to be a tough trip since it will be our first "complete" family trip, and it was supposed to include you.  Who am I kidding, life is tough regardless of any specific plans.

Please help us all remain healthy this summer, especially this week and throughout camp for your siblings.  Know we miss you a LOT!  

Until next time, 

Love always, 

The Mighty Contributor

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