Going away

Since I have become a mom I have never gone away from the kids for long periods of time.  We have gone a night here or there and I think our longest get away was maybe 36 hours.  Since Sonzee has been born leaving all the kids under the care of one person for overnights has happened one time for Sam's 35th birthday.  I get so nervous leaving her with all of her needs that the only comfortable way I can even entertain leaving Sonzee and going away is if she is able to get into the Ryan House.  I have to be on my game as far as preparations for this to work out, so when we knew our long time babysitter was getting married this upcoming weekend, I called Ryan House 6 months ago to book her stay.  Despite calling when booking opened, the soonest I could get her in was Sunday afternoon...we are scheduled to leave Saturday night.

These last few weeks I have been a nervous wreck with everything going on with Sonzee and the thought of going away.  I was nervous about her night at home Saturday night even though we found an amazing day time nurse who was willing to do the night shift.  I was nervous about her drop off going smoothly on Sunday and what if I forgot to tell my sister something important and it was never mentioned to the nurses at Ryan House?  I was so worried over everyone forgetting to pack all of her medications after they gave them to her and I didn't like that I would have no control.  The last couple of days I have been so anxious about going away, I have spoken with Ryan House literally every day asking if someone had cancelled.  Yesterday morning my prayers were answered when they told me we could bring her in today.

It is one thing to leave typical kids with grandparents and aunts/uncles, although even that isn't exactly worry free.  However, when it comes to leaving a special needs child, it is an entirely different situation.  I know everyone who would have watched her would have done it amazingly, but I feel so much better being the one to drop her off and set up her room.  I will be able to give the last minute reminders, discuss all of her medications, make sure they set up the smaller camera over her bed to ensure they don't miss any seizures, and show them all the various seizure types she is having (although she will undoubtedly start a new one while she is there).  I still have the nagging feeling over the thought of going away and leaving the kids at home, but at least I know they are all in great hands.

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