When your child is born you wait
eagerly for those first smiles, typically they happen between 4-6 weeks.
This amazing little being then begins to hold his/her head up not too
long after, followed by rolling over. He/She learns how to sit around 6
months, begins to crawl, learns to feed, pulls him/herself up, cruises
furniture and walks, talks, even runs...and ALL of this typically happens within
the first 12-18 months of life. These achievements, while exciting to a
parent the first time they occur, are expected. It is not a matter of if your child will accomplish
these amazing milestones; it is simply a matter of when.
I can
remember back to when Sonya's oldest sister was a baby. I remember how
neurotic I was about her meeting each milestone. How worried I became
when her same aged peers achieved these goals before her. I can't tell
you the amount of times I whipped out my speech assessments to ensure she was
indeed on target. When she finally reached a goal it was met with a
combination of a sense of relief and looking towards the next one. I can
tell you that even though she took her time in meeting these goals, I never
gave much thought to the science behind them.
Let's take smiling for example. Neurons transmit signals
from the brain's cerebral cortex to the brainstem. Part of the
brainstem’s work is controlling the medial lemniscus, which handles facial
sensations, with many important facial nerves also emerging from this area.
The face then receives the message to smile. When a person smiles,
the brain releases chemicals that give rise to euphoric, happy feelings. This
leads to more smiling, creating a positive loop of smiling, and the brain
releasing chemicals. If you actually think about it, there is a lot occurring
behind the scenes for what comes across as a simple upward lip movement.
It is incredible, scratch that, it is a miracle that this can occur at
all, much less when we are month old.
We can easily be distracted by watching another child complete a task
earlier, or "better" than our child. It can be difficult when a
parent asks us questions about our child's skills. We can feel
self-conscious for our child, and inadequate as a parent. We can get
so caught up in the moment; we forget to take the entire picture into view.
One of the reasons I am sure Sonya was brought into Sam's and my lives
was to teach us to appreciate every little thing,
whether big or small. We have spent upwards of TEN minutes working with Sonya just to
be rewarded with a half-moon smile. Let me tell you, that little moon is
cause for a celebratory dance over here! That tiny movement takes such
strength, hard work, and determination, and we let Sonya know how proud of her
we are for it. But on the flip side, she is 3 months old. Most
children her age have been smiling for 6-8 weeks already. I could easily
say, "That’s great, she smiled, now let's move on", but my new Sonya
influenced self, celebrates each little moon she gives me. I do NOT take any
resemblance of a smirk for granted. I am so in awe of ALL that is behind
these expressions.
Sometimes it is not a matter of finishing the race first, but just that
you simply crossed the finish line. Sometimes it is worthwhile to stop,
take a look around, and just smell the roses.
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