Dear Sonzee,
So many weeks this year have flown by extra quickly. Every Monday I tell myself I need to write to you and then time just moves on. Over the last close to 2 months or so I started to work out. It isn't anything super exciting, some walks and workout sessions. Still, it comes after work all day, chauffeuring your siblings all over the valley for their activities, and cooking dinner. After all of that, the amount of energy it takes to will me to the computer and then delve into the emotion of grief is just way too heavy and I find myself saying "I will do it tomorrow".
Well, "tomorrow" in this case turned into close to 2 weeks. To be honest, I would have pushed it off again, but there is the whole guilt component, and tonight that weighed a bit more. So I will force myself to face your absence tonight by writing the letter you deserve.
This week Laeya, Noam, and aba were finally all healthy and recovered from their bouts with (what we assume) was the flu. Noam was able to return to school on Friday last week after being out for a week. Aba was out the week prior to Noam's start and Laeya had it the week before, just 2 days before aba got taken down. Tzvi we aren't sure about him, because after his tournament he had one symptom, but after keeping him home from school for a day he was good to go. Meena and I are the only ones who seemed to have missed that boat-but I am cautiously optimistic about how long we will be able to hold out. It is literally everywhere. It is now this week at FBC and luckily I hop between campuses, so far I seem to be at the opposite one when the kiddos show up with fevers and are sent home.
2 Sundays ago Tzvi had his last league game for 2022. They won! It was a great game. Nurse Paige came. Every time she comes, Tzvi scores, so she needs to start coming to every game! I love seeing her. I miss seeing her every day though. I am just happy she is still in our lives.
Last week we were excepted to host street cleanups on a mile stretch on Bethany Home Road between 7th and 16th streets and after the first cleanup they will put up a sign in your honor! I am so excited for that to happen. I am just waiting on Auntie A to make the flyer to post! (*hint*hint* Auntie A). I am thinking about pairing it with a PEMU pajama drive. I have done next to no fundraising this year. In fact, I sort of just let the non-profit component of your organization take a back seat. Again, this whole needing energy thing.
Meena made Channukah artwork and I found it in her lunchbox folded up. She didn't have your name. It makes me so sad that you are missing from the artwork, but it is her journey with grief and if she leaves you out of it, that is her decision. At dinner, she saw it on the door taped up and asked how it got there. I told her I put it up, and then Tzvi mentioned how she didn't have your name. She said, "ya I did it on purpose because she isn't here". Then Tzvi said, "but she is your sister still". I then said she could do what she wants. I just always secretly love when Tzvi says things like he did because he doesn't speak about his feelings regarding you often. He once said it was just too painful and hard so why would he want to. It is a valid point. I am not upset with Meena at all, it just makes me sad that this is how it is. But, she did paint you more rocks that I need to remember to bring to you!
Anyway my love. I miss you a lot! Sorry that I am so behind with my letters!
Until next time.
Love always,
Ema
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