127 & 128 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

I had every intention of writing to you last week, but time slipped away. I feel like 12 days ago was so long ago and I cannot really remember all that occurred.  I am sure it was similar to the week before, just shopping with Mrs. Malka and eating.  Eating has become an activity, one that I am going to eventually regret, and one that will undoubtedly lead to me participating in that forbidden word exercise.  

Since I cannot remember much of week 127 I will fast forward (or maybe it is rewind?) to week 128.

Week 128 led aba and me to New York City.  Savta came to watch Noam (he wasn't so keen on us leaving him, especially without your other siblings, so he spent all the morning hysterically crying for me).  Since our return on Friday, he has not wanted to be away from me, but aba and I did sneak out again for dinner and once savta reiterated we were not staying away he calmed down.  I wonder in his little 4-year-old mind if the fact that you left and never came back is what made things difficult?  That and your other siblings are also away.  I won't pretend to know if either of those are the cause.

We went to New York City to spend time celebrating aba turning 40 and to hang out with Harper's parents.  It is always an amazing time when the four of us get together.  Tons of laughter, tons of food, and tons of fun.  There is always something so I don't know the word, comforting? to spending time with another couple who has lived our lives for close to the same amount of time and having it end similarly.  We can laugh until the tears flow and then have the tears flow a second later over the fact that our girls are gone.  We can cry during a broadway show that is not even remotely related to you or Harper, but just because something in our minds decided to relate it to you one of you, and then go about our day as if life is normal.  In a sense, it is because this is our new normal, it is our life, lifeaftercdkl5.

I leave these gatherings ready for the next one, planning already underway for our next reunion and not wanting to return to the other part of normal, where people can't possibly understand (even if they try). To a world where the tears and jokes have to be more closely monitored so as not to make others uncomfortable.  There is 70% of me who doesn't really care about making others feel uncomfortable or the situation awkward because it is my life, but the 30% of me that does tends to win.

I ordered new paint markers to make you some rocks, they came during week 127.  I have to admit I haven't painted any in a while, so on my agenda this week is doing that.  

I cannot believe tomorrow a month has already gone by since we left Phoenix.  How does time fly by so quickly?  Another month until we leave to head back. Wish you would come and visit me here in NY.

Missing you a lot!

Until next time.

Love always, 

Ema