114 weeks

Dear Sonzee, 

Today is 4/11/22...it also happens to be 114 weeks which is 411 backward, and it is also a bit after 10pm, which is 22 in army time.  Maybe I am stretching reality, but it stuck out to me and it felt worth mentioning. 

Last week at grief group was the first time I said it was 113 weeks, but since no one besides me counts in weeks like me, it was 2 years 2 months, and 3 days. When I say 2 years it makes it feel so long ago, but in reality, it feels like it was actually today.  After 114 weeks I can make it through talking about you more often than not without crying, but then sitting down to write to you brings out all of my emotions and I find myself right back to the beginning of this journey. I wonder if there will ever be a week that it won't be the case, because week 114 isn't it.

I feel like nothing eventful happened this last week, except maybe that Laeya started gymnastics with a friend from school.  Since she graduated from swim the rule was she had to find another activity to participate in to be a little active. We will see how it goes. 

This week I worked a bit on the route for our drive to NY, and then I started to think that I might do a completely different drive.  Good thing I have some time to finalize the trip. 

Last week a student started to use your GoTo seat.  Mrs. Dina came to get me to show me how cute they looked sitting in it.  It makes me smile to know it is being used. I wonder if you would have finally outgrown the size one? I wonder if I would have still shared it with others had you never left?

The house continues to get closer to completion. I am ready to sort through your boxes and make your little area.  I (think) I am ready to see more of your stuff?  I stared at your pacifier clips the other day while I waited in the doorway for your siblings.  It may have moved houses, but it still hangs the exact same way.  I cannot believe how many different clips you had.  I mean I can, because obviously you needed a clip in every color, but really, you had so many.  You had just gotten so many new ones also for your birthday.  They still hang on the same string in their cases...and it has been 114 weeks. 

Anyway baby girl.  I miss you lots!  I hope you have a great week!

Love and miss you!

Until next time.

Love always, 

Ema