Missed out moments

For those of you who I know personally and were able to view Sonzee's (as of 8 hours and 59 minutes ago) now four year old sister slather lotion all over herself and her bedroom, I hope it provided you a decent bedtime laugh.  For those of you who were unable to view the video, it went something like this.  I went to get a t-shirt out of Sonzee's sister's dresser and noticed she was not in her bed, but instead there was a lotion container extremely messy along with her pillow, sheets, and blanket.  I summoned for her and she came back into the bedroom from the hall bathroom, which I had just walked by, but somehow missed seeing her.  I asked her why lotion was all over bed, and then I noticed it was all over her body, her clothing, her hair, the floor in footsteps...it was EVERYWHERE.  The only thing I did besides ask her what she was doing was call for Sam to come to her room.

While she burst into tears explaining she was extremely itchy all over her body (she has bad eczema) she noticed Sam and I were "holding back" our laughter and so she calmed down.  We of course had to document this moment to look back on as the years pass by as her final hoo-ra of an event as a three year old, and so we recorded the outcome of lathering her body in Eucerin cream to combat her itchiness.  The video goes onto to show her telling Sam it was in fact me who put the lotion all over her and then she gave her signature "get out of jail free card" grin indicating that maybe that really was not the case, but never fully admitting it was in fact her who placed the lotion on her body and the contents of her bedroom.  The video ends with her saying next time she will ask for me or Sam to come and put the lotion on.

After giving her another shower, changing her sheets, and rubbing the lotion off of her furniture and the floor I became a bit sad thinking about the fact that Sonzee won't be able to pull off these types of shenanigans.  These are the moments that unfortunately don't permit themselves in the special needs world, at least not the one Sonzee is in.  Even if she has the desire to do so, she lacks the motor planning and actual physical capabilities of pulling off such a fete.  She is unable to climb out of her crib, grab a lotion container, sit back on her bed and attempt to relieve her itchiness or whatever else a toddler is thinking in their mind.  She cannot rip out pages of a book, get construction paper and attempt to write her own book using the spine of the original.  She cannot sneak into the kitchen grab candy and "drop itself into the stomach without tasting it".  These are just childhood achievements she won't ever get to participate in.

It is moments like this one that are bitter sweet.  Maybe I only appreciate the joy, creativity, and overall fantastic humor of these events because we have a Sonzee.  There was honestly no getting mad or even annoyed, there was definitely an element of surprise and shock, but I was more in awe of her desire to handle the situation on her own and choosing to do so in that manner.  One of my most commonly thought and uttered parenting phrase is "what were you thinking?" and my favorite part is hearing each of my children's replies. However, without their specific replies the event in and of itself is usually momentous and does not require an explanation, so it just sucks we won't get these types of moments with Sonzee.

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