It's a day shy of a week since the incident and I still have the heavy restricting feeling in my chest. On occasion my heart races and the panicking gets worse. Why? I know there is a lot going on in decision land and I am still preoccupied with the loss of her CDKL5 brother, Jakob. I just don't know how to shake it off, and I don't know how long it will last. Will my life always be like this or does it eventually get easier to compartmentalize all of my thoughts and emotions?
I have done so much better the last couple of months taking care of myself and making sure I take me time. I should probably curb my coffee intake and maybe sleep more than 3 hours a night, but truth be told I don't think either of those are possible right now. I don't know how to make these attacks stop and I don't think they will on their own...so I guess the next step is just learning how to handle them because they are probably par for the course.