Monday, November 21, 2022

146 weeks

Dear Sonzee,

Today, it’s been 146 Monday’s since you left me and today your little brother became one day older than you will ever be…today he turned 4 years 11 months and 24 days…you will forever be 4 years 11 months and 23 days…I won’t lie and say it’s ok or that I am fine. I will say I survived the day, I received some extra hugs, texts, and calls, but for the most part I mastered my usual hide behind the smile routine. Then I laid down with your brother - like I did with you for the last time 146 weeks ago - and I let the tears flow, because while it isn’t something that is thought about often, the reality is, it sucks, it’s sad, and it’s so incredibly unfortunate. I would love to know the little girl you would be now…would you have ever sat? Would you have ever taken steps outside of your gait trainer? Would we have ever stopped your seizures? These are all answers I won’t ever receive. But my wishes for you over the last 146 weeks is that you have achieved all of those accomplishments and more. I miss you baby girl more than words can ever express!! 

Until next time.

Love always, Ema

The Mighty Contributor

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