Dear Sonzee,
I am only two days behind schedule this week. I would say it has less to do with not making time and more to do with avoidance. I don't know why specifically I go into these phases. I can't decide if there is something specific causing it or if it is just par for the course.
I do know from history that this time of year I tend to find my avoidance more prominent. I can't bring my self to visit you because I hate seeing your name on the stone. I haven't dropped off your rocks, because of the above mentioned and that makes me feel guilty. I haven't made you rocks because they would sit around on the counter (like everything I have waiting to bring you) because of not wanting to go to your grave...so all together, it's just crummy.
Laeya decided she didn't need to go to grief group. Meena wants to go for the candy. I couldn't decide, but was leaning towards not wanting to go anymore because instead of helping, it tends to hold me back. I haven't officially closed us out, because that seems final, so in line with my current theme of avoidance, it fits right in.
This past week Tzvi had his first scrimmage. He missed one due to being sick, one due to shabbat and was able to go on Sunday. His team is 3-0 and it is looking like it'll be a great season. Tonight is the start of the seeding tournament, and I am so excited for us to be back in hockey season.
Last week was a full week of school for your siblings and work for me. It was exhausting, but I am adjusting my bedtime to go to sleep earlier so waking up so early won't be so tiring. We will see how it ends up working out.
Noam asked to have your book of you and him read to him this week. I always love when he does that. He has been talking about you randomly, which is also nice.
Anyway, I got to go.
Love you lots and miss you more!
Until next time.
Love always,
Ema
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