Thursday, August 13, 2015

Dust Storm

I found myself and the kids caught driving through a dust storm on Tuesday.  I didn't receive the weather alert on my phone until after the rain was pouring, the wind gusts took down tree limbs, and we had arrived at our destination in Scottsdale.  The alert went off on at least 6 or 7 other phones simultaneously, and I gave a quick chuckle while thinking..."thanks?!"  The alert is kind of comical in its own way, as I was definitely well aware of the weather this morning as I loaded the kids into the car. The sky was a dark greyish brown when I looked toward the east.  I could literally see the wind picking up and dust flying parallel to me.  I took a moment to really appreciate all the actions of the storm; how fast the dust was flying, how gusty the wind was how the sky opened up and cried.  In a part of my mind I wondered if G-d was simply having a bad morning.  Did he just need to let it out?

We all have days where we push our feelings to the side.  It can be easier to do that then to simply deal with it all.  Maybe it's that we worry that we will be perceived as weak.  Maybe it's that we don't want to make ourselves a burden to others.  Maybe we aren't sure people really want to know what we are actually thinking and/or feeling.  There are those days that we just keep up with appearances.  We follow schedules, and daily routines.  We smile, and move through the motions.  All along a storm is brewing within us.  We never know how much will be too much, what is going to tip the scales.  We just go with the flow unsure of when all of our pent up feelings and emotions will need to be freed.  

Then it happens.  We get in a fight with a loved one.  Our child forgets his/her sippy cup in the car.  You are running late for work.  You are angry over situations you have no control over.  Your thoughts run wild and rampant.  You can't make sense of anything, and you just need to have a release.  Everything has built itself up so much that there is just not one thing more you can take.   You feel like a train letting off steam.  You may cry.  You may scream.  You may do both.  It isn't always rational, but it's necessary.  

Maybe right before it begins we get an advanced warning; but usually it happens so quickly that it isn't until we review the series of events that led up to the storm that we realize hindsight is 20/20.  We just have to hold on until it passes and go with it.  We have to acknowledge the feelings and allow them to be felt.  We have to appreciate the chaos and disorganization that may occur and embrace the beauty that will follow.  Because after every storm, the clouds eventually part, a ray of sunshine appears, the ground will dry, sometimes a rainbow will present itself and we know everything will be all right.

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